I do try to talk to himas I can relate where you say he doesn't want to talk about treatment etc, like I say to my partner- these aren't easy conversations to have but they are important as I I'mscared too, I'm never there when you speak to your consultant, I want to know what is going on to help and understand too- (as Covidhas made everything so difficult-scans being pushed back/not being allowed to be in the hospital with him). He is severely cognitively/physically impaired and I'm told by Drs, that he will continue to deteriorate. omg sat here in tears again due to the same situation ,been married 34 years and my husband can be a bully at times ,but since he was diagnosed with cancer last year hes become horrible expects me to do everything for him with no thanks at all ,i too struggling with my own health issues .i hate to say when hes in hospital its a welcome break from his nastiness,and i canrelax.he isn't terminal but seems to be happy being dependent on everyone else to do for him ..i thought i was horrible feeling so cold and angry ,while hes the one with cancer and whose had the operations and infections he loves the nurses saying how well hes done and he's always laughing and joking with them ,until they try to get him to move that is . * To protect your identity do not use your full name. We were normal. He went to the Dr as he was always tired, had chest infections, but the Drs fobbed him off every time. He can't be in this house while he's being treated. He's had two courses of chemotherapy which haven't worked. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Good luck, Carol. He seemed to age 10 years in 10 months. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. The 39-year-old is currently on her Back in Action comedy tour and preparing her sixth Netflix special. Is there anything I didnt ask on which you would like to comment? Her Instagram has nearly 200,000 followers. He was frightened and how much can a human brain take to digest the fact you are dying. I am feeling so scared today as my husband is due to see the consultant this afternoon to review how things are. I was so busy juggling bills and babies, I had no time to work on my marriage. Tony Dow's Family Issues Corrections After 77-Year-Old Actor's Death Was Falsely Announced. I shared this article with my loving spouse & she is in total agreement. It wasn't him. Her fans have started a GoFundMe to help with their education. It will test you. In light of that, things that might previously have ignited an argument between us became inconsequential in comparison. My spouses diagnosis made me realize just how much I loved him. There has got to be a better way. When her husband was diagnosed with cancer, her sister thought starting an Instagram account might give Riley an outlet. Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. Top editors give you the stories you want delivered right to your inbox each weekday. In order to understand his needs. Her tiktok videos have racked up over 2.7 million views and she has over 500k followers on her social media platforms. My partner has cancer and I can relate to you. Nancy Hopper Her Instagram has nearly 200,000 followers. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. I had to have open heart surgery because of a 100% calcified heart valve although I had no other problems with blockage or anything. Your social media following is growing, and you have plenty of gigs coming up. I have scheduled an appointment with the Trust Attorney to see what my options are. Does he get medical help? He had lost a lot of weight, his hair and was having problems eating. If there's one thing we all need right now it's laughter. For almost 9 years now, it is a one sided propositionExtraordinarily draining physically, mentally and emotionally with no outlet or relief. Since his discharge from hospital on Friday ,I have really noticed him going downhill. Lost my sister in July 2018 to cancer just buried my Dad in October 2019 now husband is stage 4. "They don't find me cool or anything like that," she said. more than 3 years ago, 5 Lessons on Dealing with a Spouse with Cancer, Copyright caregiver.com, Inc. 1995 - 2023. Stay up to date with what you want to know. I can't work as I feel unable to cope with that aswell and I just feel we are existing, we are certainly not living ! doctor for support, Also consider wether he needs to speak to his doctor about how he is feeling if he is feeling low/depressed. They had not completed the whipples procedure but had only done a biliary bypass. Throughout the pandemic and her husband's cancer battle, the page has grown into a community. He is the type of man that had I not found out, he would have just kept working till he was gone. Anyone who has received a cancer diagnosis holds an indelible memory of the moment the words "You have cancer" were uttered. It leaves you mentally and physically knackered and I mean it when I say Inever want to go into another relationship for as long as I live. How is his sickness ? I do not see him being here by next year. Now we are sad people, angry people, depressed most days. Youll probably force me to do that soon, though, I know. he asked me to do something I do it and he snaps at me for doing it , I just don't know what to do for the best anymore. So sorry your husband has changed so much. We used to joke about how terribly wed get along when we are old and wrinkly. I just take one day at a time, as like you said it is so consuming. When her husband was diagnosed with. Very soon it seemed he became controlling and jealous and I could not do anything right. He got worse more angry and more controlling. I more than understand what you have said. Bongino bravely shared his cancer battle on social media and on his radio show, inspiring others to keep fighting. My friend's husband had cancer and is now clear and the best advice she gave me with how to deal with his mood swings, was to just be patient and to try not to take things personally which I know is hard but when I asked her if he had mood swings and she said yes they were awful just knowing it wasn't just me made me feel better- especially when you get told you don't understand how hard it is. If you want to give back, share this with someone who could use it and leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen, so more people find this show and benefit from these conversations.If you dig the show, CLICK HERE to learn how you can make this experience 3D by joining our 10,000 NOs Insiders Community: access to a members-only Facebook group, intimate, weekly Live video calls with Matt, including monthly drop-ins with some of his badass past-guests & VIP friends and more. Because they need you. I am tired of telling them night after night that Daddy doesnt want to be sick, or Daddy wishes he could play with you. With terrible heartbreak, I listened to one of our twins tell the other she wishes she had her old daddy back. Im always grateful for every opportunity that comes my way. Domestic abuse (verbal/emotional) is NOT acceptable. Being ill is not an excuse for being a bully, it might explain being the centre of attention attention seeking person, but its not acceptable in a loving relationship. Someone please help I need advice Im in beast mode I have to do everything I possibly can for my husband. There was definitely reminiscing about nights before kids. And even though you have taken so much from us, Im letting you know, Cancer, that you cant have these memories that are left. The idea for an Instagram page came from Riley's sister. Christine Terry We had the prognosis of one year end Feb 2019. If I say I'm in need of a walk with the dog on my own I'm neglecting him. It is not the critic who counts. 5. My spouse's diagnosis made me realize just how much I loved him. I can more than relate, Beth. My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last July, and that his best option would be to have a whipples procedure as soon as possible. We have a good marriage but my husband has withdrawn, though his cancer diagnosis is positive he is currently going thru chemo and for a few weeks has a catheter he hates. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Hey Cancer, I know you know you suck, but Im going to tell you again. He's had two courses of chemotherapy which haven't worked. My husband tried loads of different anti sickness tablets before they found one which helped. If there is a problem with the rights to any image, please contact us and we will look into the matter. How does your Italian heritage influence your humor and your cooking? Is your husband on dexamethasone? It Is the unknown that we are dealing with that just makes this all so scary. She posts videos about the ridiculousness of day-to-day life as a mom and caregiver. My husband of 30 years my best friend for 35 years was just diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. For most of my marriage, I failed miserably at this. Despite her husbands progressing cancer, Riley managed to post videos nearly every day. As @onefunnymommy, she became a social media star in a matter of days. but for now, Id be saying do what you can to keep safe first of all, get phone numbers of people like Samaitans and Womens Aid, so someone who can listen to you becomes easily accessible, they are usually accessible online too. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on our RSS feed. I don't need his money to be happy, I need him ALIVE. SHOW LINKS:10,000 NOs: THE BOOKSUBSCRIBE TO OUR (WEEKLY) NEWSLETTERFOLLOW MATT ON SOCIALFIND OUT HOW YOU CAN BE A 10,000 NOs INSIDER, In this excerpt, from one of our weekly Live Zoom calls with the 10,000 NOs Insiders Community, we discuss the fact that, sometimes, just being is enough. He is tense, doesn't talk much though says I am the bright spot in his day he is very distant, seems to want to be alone and is annoyed when I ask how he feels. Full of expletives (ear muffs for kids please), hysterical rants and a moving revelation about her three year old son's morning ritual that forces her daily to rise to the occasion, this off-the-cuff conversation jettisoned past a long line of previously recorded episodes to be the first episode of our 2021 slate. The turning point in our relationship came after a long day of chemotherapy and radiation, when my husband collapsed in a chair in our living room, completely and utterly exhausted. He has aged so much in 3 months. Thank you so much for this opportunity and for the continuous support. Because that is ultimately your story, and that's how you start working your brand. I really hope this doesn;t sound selfish, and the main reason I am posting this is to see if anyone else has had the same experience and if so how they coped, and in fact if they coped, becuase I'm struggling and ready to give up. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. Our kids, all under the delicate age of 10, feel the palpable sadness in this house each day. He has just finished round 3 of chemotherapy and she shares that the videos give her an outlet . They dont know the person we knew before Cancer came calling. I can't bear thinking of what's going to happen, I know he is scared but he won't admit to it, he doesn't even want to talk about it so I just watch him all white faced and weak and can't say nothing, I am very scared. Think of the alternative. David didnt live to see his 61st birthday. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in March last year and in September we were told it was incurable. So thankfully I do not feel quite so alone. After 2 hours the hospital called me to return to the hospital. I have had 4 sessions now and I have found that really helpful. SHOW LINKS:10,000 NOs: THE BOOKSUBSCRIBE TO OUR (WEEKLY) NEWSLETTERFOLLOW MATT ON SOCIALFIND OUT HOW YOU CAN BE A 10,000 NOs INSIDER. X, I'm new to this cancer chat,I apologise for the time of posting this replyTo be totally honest with you I am going through the exact same life you have described.My lovely husband Steven of 43 years was diagnosed exactly 2 years this week with colectral cancer which has now spread to his pelvis..we have 3 amazing grown up children and 4 amazing grandcholdren whom we both think the world of.But suddenly I would say over the last 4 months of Steves cancer he has become not the nicest of people,his character has changed and I feel sometimes that I'm married to a completely different person.i cry a lot away from the family and pretend everything is OK and I'm coping,but the reality is completely different..I feel for you and like I say this is the first time I have gone on this site and told anyone how bad things are,but when I just read yours something just made me replyim not sure if you will read my message but,you know my heart goes out to you because I'm feeling exactly the same..I love Steve just as much niw as the day we married probably more,but all this nastiness now I'm finding too hard to cope with..sorry to go on thankyou for reading about me x. I have been a carer in the community for 33 years , I have seen so many different kinds of cancer and what it does , my partner of 10 years has cancer that has now reached his brain and he has changed into the most nasty person , before this he never had a nasty bone in his body he was beautiful caring loving man . Relate has long waiting lists. I am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation although you probably understand best what I am going through. Sign up for notifications from Insider! I dont consider myself to be a comedian, but I needed an outlet for my mental health and social media became the perfect one for me. A Facebook post falsely announcing Tony Dow 's death has now been removed. Hey Cancer, I know you know you suck, but I'm going to tell you again. During the outbreak of COVID-19, One Funny Mother Dena Blizzard resorted to Facebook Live to keep in touch with her audience of moms and wine aficionados. Beitrags-Autor: Beitrag verffentlicht: Juni 4, 2022; Beitrags-Kategorie: payday loan threatening to serve papers; Beitrags-Kommentare: . I'm off work at the moment as I needed to spend so much time at the hospital, but I'm fortunate that I live on site of my job. She is known and loved on social media as @onefunnymommy and became an almost overnight sensation. My teeth fell out. He is now staying in a hospice most nights, to have his pain managed, to be fed through a nasal tube, which isnot going well. Its been a long battle, I have no words. Im a mediocre mother, I cant cook to save my soul, and Im an okay cleaner, but the bedroom thing was one aspect of marriage I was damn good at. Follow Makin Waves at Facebook. Like you I dread every day because it's all about the cancer, everything revolves around the bloody cancer. But you can do it. They will never see the Chris Farley impressions, or the dance moves when the DJ plays Rob Base the guy whose biggest quirk in life was pinching cold fingers. We had a team out yesterday who provided us with all the practical things like walking frame, bed rest, bathroom stool etc and today the two nurses from our local hospice came out to visit to explain what they offer for support. He's a very small man physically. The cancer had already metastised to his liver. I put up with it because I loved him and realising it was the cancer I made a determined decision to stay right by him. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. My husband is only 52, his father died of pancreatic cancer at 49, his mother of pancreatic cancer at 68 and his fathers brother of pancreatic cancer at 70. We spent many evening in A &E. before the chemotherapy was stopped. I'm so glad that you now have support in place, it must be a huge relief. My husband and I met friends out for dinner, but one thing led to another and we ended up dancing well past the bedtime assumed for parents of four kids. My husband is in shock that me just posting these videos got me to where I am. Although he is eating really well, and we seem to have the pain management under control, he isgetting weaker. "I'm flattered that people find it funny, that it has become what it is," she said. 2. Fun is a concept buried far in the past. After 7 weeks recovering from the surgery, he had a 14inch cut across his abdomen, chem. I hope they manage to get the sickness under control for him. 3. He struggled to communicate by writing with a shaky hand on a dry erase board. I've lived in Staten Island for over 10 years. Like you I am very scared at how quickly he is deteriorating. He appears to be shrinking and ageing. Ive never seen the Carteret Performing Arts & Center, but I am looking forward to performing there and meeting so many wonderful people. When we were at A&E last week they said that his blood count was so low they were considering transfusion but he insisted on going home and they said hopefully the iron tablets would help. They did. I really don't want to hijack Paddock's thread too much so please do start one yourself to talk about this because I do know something about the stresses of genetic cancer - My wife recently died of a form of ovarian cancer as didher mother and several others in her familly - they were all positive for a gene called BRCA 1 - My daughter has hust had the test and has been found negative!! Why would I when I loved him so much. I suffer from Panic Disorder, I am being treated and would be considered 'stable' now. You cannot believe how happy I was to read your post! Dawn xx. Both partners may feel anxious about this issue but be reluctant to talk about it. Chances are, youve probably stumbled on one of Rileys videos. How did you find hilarious mommy on Facebook. So if he is unpleasant I tell him so, you do not bite the hand that feeds you. How and why does marriage, children, and family influence your humor? It's hard dealing with the mood swings and as hispartner I feel my own feelings are irrelevant to him sometimes of how hard it is for us too. Im getting ready to watch my husband get blasted and from that first blast they loose themselves blast by blast. I really hope your meeting with the consultant this afternoon has gone better than you hoped, and your husband can have another course of chemo. Not once has he bothered to see if I'm ok (I have an elderley mum who needs support, and autistic son and a full time job. Managing the news of a cancer diagnosis can be made easier with the help of a strong support network, therapy . Riley, who was born and raised in Brooklyn and now lives in Staten Island, always had a big New York personality and sense of humor. If you want to give back, share this with someone who could use it and leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen, so more people can find this show and benefit from these conversations. I was told I had throat cancer in 2004. We are heartbroken., A post shared by Lisa Marie Riley (@onefunnylisamarie). However, both Brooklyn and Staten Island shaped my attitude and made me who I am. Doing so prompted him to reciprocate. The year before 2017, We had purchased a home in another state( before his diagnosis) so we could down size.After the cancer diagnosis things got really unstable, so I left my husband and went there and moved in. Rarely affectionate. If youve been knocked down get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the arena. I'm in the same boat as you. We did not expect they would come back and say that I had a tumor in my brain. I hate you for making me have to explain it to them. I feel I am on a very lonely and scary journey . So stand up for yourself, giving in isn't working. We are now waiting for an MRI this Saturday and a colonoscopy next Monday in order to find out how far it has spread but although I am trying very hard to be upbeat,I am not very optimistic as he is so so weak and that's even before we started any treatment yet He had to take some iron tablets last week which upset his tummy even more and now that these have stopped (had to stop because of the colonoscopy next week) he was sick last night and had a terrible night. Sorry I'm too upset to continue, take care, Hi Paddock, twice I have tried to reply to your email but got so upset after reading yours that I'm finding it really hard to find the words to reply. Maybe assomeone else mentioned on here could you stay at a friends for a few days to give yourself a break,write him a letter with some happy memories and also how your feeling now which he could read and reflect on. They wont know the tears he cries now were once tears of joy when he held newborn twin daughters in his arms nearly eight years ago. i feel really evil for being so upset, he is the one that is ill, but I feel he will not help himself, he is just depressed, depressed, depressed. I would love to do both if I could. We were already having difficulties in our marriage, when he told me. The he kind of pursued things further and in 2018 we started going out together as partners. I hope that you are coping ok? Not many friends either as he was never a very social person and didn't really like to hang out with friends much. He went through a radical surgery, followed by a regimen of radiation, chemotherapy, and a clinical trial drug. We were told he had 6-12 months,(optimistically). They are the ones who help us in the fight to carry on for our children children who still do normal things like ride bikes and play soccer, who laugh at burps and whine about homework and my crockpot dinners. We have no control, the cancer is in control, I hate this illness SO much . Husband told me he is stage 2 oral cancer, and it has spread to his neck. butyes it is scary (even more so for him I'd say!) I'm having a flashback. Since then he has been dismissive and cruell and downright nasty. Cancer took my mother in 2010 and my eight-year-old grandson in 2013. I can remember only two instances in the ensuing five years that we even exchanged strong words, and then we immediately apologized. Id flattered if they did, but nobody has ever confused me with her. But I feel for all of you going through the same. When Lisa Marie Riley found out her husband had an aggressive 8lb tumor in his stomach after complaining of a stomach ache, her sister and friends set up an Instagram account for her and told her that, instead of texting them on their group chat (which she hated), she could just post videos to Insta We talk about it amidst the backdrop of being a guest star on a TV show, but it applies to any situation in life: figure out the dynamics of the room, work together with others to add value, but don't diminish yourself in the process.Monday Morsels are the short-form companion to our Friday Interviews of 10,000 NOs brief riffs on the show's central topics & themes as food for thought to chew on throughout your week.It is not the critic who counts.